


Patchouli & Vanilla

by hearttier



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: 1/4 chatfic??, Background Killua/Gon, Hurt/Comfort, I mean super minor like. enough that it's barely even confirmed, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, minor manga spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearttier/pseuds/hearttier
Summary: Leorio himself was watching Kurapika with an expression much more tender than he deserved. “So, have you thought about what you’re going to do now?”Kurapika exhaled and looked out towards the city. “Well, I still haven’t buried the eyes,” he admitted. “The journey home is a long one, and I haven’t been able to get away from work long enough. Beyond that, I don’t know yet.”“I see.” Leorio paused for a moment to cough. “Would you like some help?”Kurapika searches for new reasons to live after he loses the ones he had. Leorio battles his own demons as he tries to support him. Gon and Killua find a healthy balance. Together they all heal and move forward and act like idiots in the group chat.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 26
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!  
> I had this thing I wanted to write for a while now, and then I wanted to write a few other things but I didn't have any actual story ideas to go with them, and then I had the urge to write a chatfic lol. So now I have brought you this monster, you're welcome.
> 
> This chapter starts with some angst, including some vague descriptions of dissociation. But this should be the worst of it. This will be a story about healing, and allowing yourself to love and be loved in return, and breaking out of negative coping mechanisms, and gays memeing at each other. I know it starts pretty serious, but it's gonna get a lot more lighthearted as it goes.
> 
> Please enjoy this self indulgent mess~

Kurapika thought he had prepared himself for this. Evidently not.

Chrollo was smiling in his last moments. He was at peace with the way he died. Was that better or worse? Kurapika remembered Uvogin, and Pakunoda, and the mutilated bodies of everyone he knew and loved for the first half of his life. Worse, he decided.

A brief wave of nausea passed over him. The man was absolutely horrid and so were his friends. If anyone deserved death for their crimes, certainly they did. Still, Kurapika despised acting as the arbiter of such a punishment. It was disgusting. The smell of blood, the sight of open eyes staring blankly, the sound of choking, the feel of cold and hardened flesh, the feel of open eyes looking at him and not seeing, the fucking _eyes_ \- 

He had to move. He had been staring at the soft ground where he had just buried the man responsible for the genocide of his people. Kurapika knew he was justified.

That didn’t mean he was okay with it.

Kurapika reached the car he drove out to this spot in the middle of nowhere and climbed in the driver’s seat, but did not move. He was right, he did need to put some distance between himself and the spot where Chrollo now lay. His feelings were much less intense now - in fact, his feelings were much less, in general. Almost like he had left his emotions behind at the makeshift grave. Actually, no - it felt like he had been wrapped in a thick quilt, but it was guarding him from his emotions instead of the cold.

In a way it was nice. He let himself just sit there for a little bit. He could take a break from the intensity of it all, couldn’t he?

He didn’t have to rush anymore.

It was okay now.

It was over.

He was having a hard time believing it.

It was hard to tell how much time passed like that. He checked the clock - he wanted to wince when he saw the time, but that would have required him to start feeling again.

This was wrong.

This realization made him pick up his phone before he even thought about it. After thinking for a moment about what to say, he decided he didn’t need to go into much detail. His friends knew of his plans for the night.

> _Group Message: Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, Gon_
> 
> **Kurapika** : It's done.  
>  **Gon** : YOOOOOO  
>  **Killua** : YOOOOOOOOO  
>  **Leorio** : FGKFKG BOYS STOP  
>  **Leorio** : Fuckin rot in hell Chrollo but yall are way too enthusiastic about murder  
>  **Kurapika** : It’s fine. Dude sucked. He had to be killed to be stopped.  
>  **Gon** : yea the world is better off without that pretentious fuckface  
>  **Killua** : plus, like, revenge is kinda awesome  
>  **Leorio** : But like, Pika, are you actually okay?  
>  **Leorio** : Physically you must be exhausted at best. Emotionally, I’m scared to ask but I’m sure it’s not good  
>  **Kurapika** : You’re correct, I am exhausted, but that’s the worst of it. I haven’t sustained any injuries that I was unable to heal myself.  
>  **Gon** : good!! thats such a relief  
>  **Killua** : you’re ignoring the important half of the question  
>  **Leorio** : THANK you, killua  
>  **Killua** : you didn’t text the group chat to celebrate did you  
>  **Kurapika** : Well. I mean, yes and no.  
>  **Gon** : i get it  
>  **Leorio** : I don’t?  
>  **Kurapika** : I guess I’m mostly numb. I don’t exactly enjoy killing, but I’m glad that Chrollo and the spider are dead.  
>  **Killua** : well, you did what needed to be done. it was never gonna be pretty  
>  **Gon** : now you can have some closure! for real this time!!  
>  **Gon** : and you even have all the eyes back!!!  
>  **Leorio** : Thats true! You’ve accomplished your goals, now you can rest  
>  **Leorio** : Actually since the troupe is finally dead so Kurapika doesn’t have an excuse anymore, how about we all get together? It’ll be nice to just relax with everyone and not have to worry about mortal peril  
>  **Killua** : you just want an excuse to take a break from studying don't you  
>  **Leorio** : That's just a bonus  
>  **Gon** : but hes right!!!!  
>  **Killua** : you're no better!!!!  
>  **Kurapika** : That actually does sound nice.  
>  **Kurapika** : I miss you all.  
>  **Kurapika** : Also, I'm sick of wearing suits and running on less sleep than Killua. I'm retiring from the Nostrade family as soon as I can.  
>  **Gon** : we miss u too!!!!!  
>  **Killua** : wow. like, fair though  
>  **Leorio** : Then everyone can come to my place! I'll get the good liquor and everything  
>  **Killua** : we still can't drink old man  
>  **Leorio** : Actually, in my country yes you can  
>  **Gon** : FUCK YEAH  
>  **Kurapika** : Gon, no.  
>  **Kurapika** : Leorio, do what you want but I will not allow you to be a bad influence on the kids.  
>  **Killua** : the kIdS?!?  
>  **Leorio** : I'm only giving them the option!  
>  **Leorio** : Besides, if they want to drink I would rather them do it in the house than go out and get themselves in trouble  
>  **Leorio** : If any of you say that had dad energy everything is canceled  
>  **Killua** : BOTH of you have dad energy  
>  **Gon** : killuaaaa dont make him turn this car around  
>  **Leorio** : THAT'S IT  
>  **Kurapika** : … I have dad energy?  
>  **Leorio** : NO ALCOHOL FOR EITHER OF YOU, YOU’RE BOTH GROUNDED  
>  **Killua** : yes but only in leorio's presence  
>  **Killua** : it's like contagious  
>  **Killua** : like his dad aura is so strong it transforms you into a dad too  
>  **Gon** : like.... a were-dad  
>  **Leorio** : That doesn't make any sense  
>  **Killua** : it's not a perfect metaphor but it's still true  
>  **Kurapika** : … I have so many questions, but they’ll have to wait. I have to drive back.  
>  **Leorio** : Oh no  
>  **Killua** : wait wym  
>  **Killua** : have you been chilling out next to the corpse as you’re texting us??  
>  **Kurapika** : Don’t be ridiculous. I buried him first.  
>  **Gon** : JFGHJFDFK  
>  **Leorio** : ARE YOU SERIOUS  
>  **Kurapika** : Then I sat in my car staring straight ahead for twenty minutes.  
>  **Killua** : okay that does sound more like you  
>  **Leorio** : Oh my god  
>  **Kurapika** : But seriously, I really should go.  
>  **Gon** : okay kurapika be careful!!  
>  **Killua** : yeah we’ll talk to you later

After setting his phone down, Kurapika smiled despite himself. Somehow he really did end up with good friends. He could never express his gratitude enough. Even if he didn’t understand what “dad energy” was or why he had it, it warmed his heart to know that the kids apparently thought of him as someone close to them, someone who might as well be family. But he couldn’t keep the conversation going, not right now. Sitting alone in silence felt wrong, but texting the group chat with his closest friends also felt wrong. No reason to subject them to his absentmindedness right now.

The gratitude and mild amusement he started to feel passed pretty quickly. The barrier between him and his emotions that had finally started to grow thinner began to build back up again - only to be interrupted once more by the buzzing of his phone. He ignored three notifications before they became more insistent, closer together. Finally he looked down at his phone when his texts were coming in with enough frequency that he wondered if it was actually a call.

His lock screen showed a stack of messages all from Leorio, each one replaced with a new one before he could even finish reading. That man really was a pain in the ass. The annoyance started to push against the numbness again as Kurapika picked up his phone and read through all his new messages.

> _Message: from Leorio_
> 
> **Leorio** : Twenty minutes? Kurapika talk to me honestly  
>  **Leorio** : Please don’t deflect with any morbid jokes this time okay I’m really concerned  
>  **Leorio** : I mean I believe that you’re not actually injured or anything, you can handle yourself  
>  **Leorio** : At least in that regard  
>  **Leorio** : Kurapika please respond  
>  **Leorio** : You wouldn’t have reached out if you were okay  
>  **Leorio** : Which IS FUCKED UP TBH BUT I WILL KINDLY OVERLOOK THAT  
>  **Leorio** : You need to talk to someone and even you know that  
>  **Leorio** : I know asking for help is hard for you and I know that was what you were just trying to do  
>  **Leorio** : Gon and Killua know too, you know  
>  **Leorio** : They’re young but they’re not dumb  
>  **Leorio** : And god knows they’ve been through some shit  
>  **Leorio** : So they know what trauma looks like, you know?  
>  **Leorio** : Killua actually just asked me if you’ve responded to me yet  
>  **Leorio** : I didn’t tell him or Gon I was texting you  
>  **Leorio** : You know I’m not going to stop until you respond  
>  **Leorio** : I know I’m annoying you  
>  **Leorio** : And I will not stop  
>  **Leorio** : Until you talk to me  
>  **Leorio** : I just want to help  
>  **Leorio** : Please let me

Kurapika closed his eyes as he felt something inside him break. He didn’t bother to read beyond that point even as Leorio continued to send new messages. He knew he needed to respond, but he didn’t have the energy to type. Well, maybe he didn’t have to text. He turned on the car to make some background noise before he called.

Leorio picked up after a fourth of one ring. “Kurapika.” The sheer relief in his voice was enough to make him feel guilty all over again. He didn’t know what for. His whole existence, maybe.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I had to go,” Kurapika lied.

“Bullshit,” Leorio interrupted. “You probably just now started the car so I wouldn’t know you were just sitting there, huh?”

Deciding not to acknowledge this theory (which was probably just proving it correct, but Kurapika couldn’t even bring himself to care right now) he continued. “I know you’re asking me to be honest and I’ll try, but I don’t know if I can. It’s like I’m in a fog right now. I can’t tell you how I’m feeling because I can’t put a name to it.”

A pause, and then a sigh. “You’re dissociating right now.”

Kurapika blinked. He shouldn’t be surprised. This was a thing that happened sometimes, yet somehow he failed to recognize it every time. Did Leorio reach this conclusion so quickly because he recognized it in his patients or did he just know Kurapika that well? Maybe both, actually.

“Probably,” he conceded. He reached up to feel his earring, idly playing with it as he closed his eyes. Trying to ground himself now that he knew.

“Hey, do you remember the first phase of the Hunter exam?”

The question was a stupid one, but it was just far enough out of left field to catch Kurapika off guard. “Of course,” slipped out before he could formulate a harsher response.

Leorio continued as if this wasn’t a completely random diversion, as if the topic had come up naturally. “Remember how it felt to run for that long? I barely made it to the end of that tunnel.”

He had no idea what this had to do with anything, but he decided to play along. It was probably easier to humor him than to argue. As he spoke, he tried to picture his memories of the exam as clearly as he could. Maybe that would give him a hint where Leorio was going with this. “It was so hot in there. Everyone was crowded so close together and working up a sweat. It smelled like body odor and patchouli.”

That startled a laugh out of Leorio. Kurapika didn’t see what was so funny, but he wouldn’t question it if the other man was happy. “Yeah, maybe I put on a little too much cologne. Sorry if the sweat made it worse. I even ended up stripping, but I don’t know how much that actually helped.”

Kurapika remembered that part a little too clearly. “I did too,” he said instead of lingering. “It helped a little, but by that point my shirt was still stuck to my back. I couldn’t exactly take that off too, though.”

Leorio hummed in acknowledgement, and gracefully decided to gloss over it. “Weren’t your calves aching after those stairs?”

“No, but my thighs were,” he admitted. “And I was so thirsty.” He was pretty thirsty now too, come to think of it. Kurapika finally opened his eyes and the hand fiddling with his earring stilled. The interior of the car looked a little clearer. He hadn’t realized it had gotten fuzzy. “Thank you, Leorio.”

“Anytime.” It sounded like he was smiling. Good. “Now you probably really should head back. Senritsu is probably worried out of her mind right now. Drive safe, okay? We’re not going to have our reunion party in your hospital room.”

So it was officially a party? He didn’t know when that happened, but fine. “As if a car crash could kill me,” he replied shortly.

Leorio gave an exaggerated sigh, but it sounded weirdly happy. “Don’t write off the possibility, you jackass. Nen users can do all kinds of weird shit. Someone could drive a nen car into your regular ass car and fuck you up.”

“Sure,” Kurapika said sarcastically, but he was grinning. “Go hammer out the details of this party we’re having. I need to go hammer out the details of my retirement.”

“Yes, please go do that. Text me when you get home.”

“Fine. I’ll talk to you later, Leorio.”

“Thank you. Talk to you later!” Kurapika stayed on the line until he heard Leorio hang up. The silence was less stifling now. He took a deep breath, paying attention to the way it felt to inhale and exhale, and shifted the car into drive.

* * *

> _ Message: from Killua  _
> 
> **Killua** : yo thanks for not killing kalluto  
>  **Kurapika** : You're welcome?  
>  **Killua** : i mean we're not close but like  
>  **Killua** : they're not like my older brothers  
>  **Killua** : meaning they're not a completely fucked up person  
>  **Killua** : only a lil fucked up  
>  **Kurapika** : They're a child who has never known anything outside the same life you lived before we met. Besides, they had nothing to do with the Kurta. I never intended to kill them unless they made me.  
>  **Killua** : yeah they prob just bounced when they realized that  
>  **Killua** : still, that was cool of you  
>  **Kurapika** : Sure thing. And why are you bringing this up now?  
>  **Killua** : bc they just called me  
>  **Killua** : now that the troupe is finished they gotta figure out what to do and they realized they didn’t know  
>  **Killua** : they decided not to go back home  
>  **Killua** : they said they originally left to look for me and bring me back but since they don’t wanna go back anymore and i don’t wanna be found they’re not gonna search for me anymore  
>  **Killua** : so i guess we made a truce idk  
>  **Kurapika** : I guess that’s about as good as it gets with your family. So, what are they going to do now?  
>  **Killua** : same thing i did when i left home, i guess  
>  **Kurapika** : Take the hunter exam out of boredom and discover they’re gay?  
>  **Killua** : shut the fuck up  
>  **Killua** : but also probably yes to the hunter exam part  
>  **Killua** : what i meant was they're going to start looking for what they want to do  
>  **Kurapika** : Good. I wish them well.  
>  **Killua** : thanks  
>  **Kurapika** : You're worried.  
>  **Killua** : yeah  
>  **Kurapika** : They went to the trouble of calling you to tell you their interests no longer align with the rest of your family. Most likely, their decision not to go back is a permanent one. They won’t end up like Illumi and Milluki.  
>  **Killua** : yeah but what if they just end up making friends with different bad people and end up like them  
>  **Killua** : like their time with the troupe probably didn’t do them much good  
>  **Killua** : or what if they don't make friends at all  
>  **Killua** : and they keep going through life as a lil shit who gives people papercuts for fun  
>  **Kurapika** : Then you step in as their older brother.  
>  **Killua** : but i already told you we're not close  
>  **Kurapika** : But you do care about each other. Show them that.  
>  **Killua** : how though  
>  **Kurapika** : Talking to them regularly would be a start.  
>  **Kurapika** : If you sense they need you, maybe you can invite them to join you and Alluka for a few days. You could even introduce them to the rest of us properly if you wanted. Or I can send them screenshots of this conversation if that's too embarrassing. It wouldn't be too hard for me to get their contact information.  
>  **Killua** : NOPE NO THAT'S FINE THANK YOU  
>  **Killua** : ugh you're right though  
>  **Killua** : i’d actually really like kalluto and alluka to get along  
>  **Killua** : thanks  
>  **Kurapika** : Anytime.  
>  **Killua** : now if you'll excuse me i've had my fill of emotional vulnerability today  
>  **Kurapika** : Weren’t you crying in the group chat because you noticed Alluka had freckles like four days ago?  
>  **Killua** : NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME

* * *

Leaving the mafia was… surprisingly easy. Of course, it wasn’t as simple as approaching Light and saying he quit. He had to first ensure that he wouldn’t be hunted down the second he tried. That part went pretty smoothly. When he brought it up, his employer took a good look at him - his slightly greasy hair, the bags under his eyes, his pale skin - and gave his assent. There were certain conditions, but nothing he wasn’t already planning on doing anyway.

Kurapika spent the next three weeks making arrangements for his replacement. The simple thing would be to just promote Senritsu and replace that position, but he could never dump all the duties he had taken on for himself back onto her - that much work would destroy a person. (He decided not to examine the fact that he did that to himself.) Instead perhaps they could open another position, re-delegate responsibilities. Maybe make Linssen an assistant to Senritsu. With approval to do whatever he thought was appropriate, Kurapika tested candidates and did what he could to not leave behind a mess for his friend to clean up when he passed along the torch.

When his last day was done, the first thing he did was change out of his suit. Kurapika didn’t hate wearing it anymore after he got used to it. Putting on a nice suit instantly commanded respect, an asset too valuable to pass up for someone in his position. Also, he looked pretty good in them, which came as a pleasant surprise to him. They were just uncomfortable and hard to move in and turned him into a completely different person. Ties always made him feel like he was being choked and belts always left angry red marks on his waist. Either he had never learned how to wear a suit properly, or he would never be comfortable in one. Likely some of both. But now he wouldn’t have to wear them if he didn’t want to.

For the first time in years, Kurapika tried on the blue robe he favored before he started wearing the suit. It was just as comfortable as he remembered, but it fit so much differently. It kept slipping off his waist - had he really become so thin? He folded the outfit and packed it for another day. Instead he chose a pair of pants he had grown out of previously. Those did fit again. Perfect. He paired them with his red coat, which was also looser than he remembered but still tight enough not to make him look like he was drowning in fabric.

After changing, he left the room almost in a hurry. He found he didn’t want to stay in this place a second longer than he absolutely needed to. He had already said his goodbyes to the people he liked here. (There were only like four of them, so it didn't take long.) He would not miss these halls that had become so familiar to him. The realization that he was walking across the ugly rug in the foyer for the last time made him downright giddy. Fuck Light Nostrade and his gaudy mansion and his dirty money.

A car waited for him at the end of the driveway - a final courtesy from his former employer. Kurapika entered the back seat without a word and immediately absorbed himself in his phone.

> _ Group Message: Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, Gon  _
> 
> **Leorio** : Status updates everyone  
>  **Gon** : im still on the boat  
>  **Killua** : 3 hours away  
>  **Killua** : lunch took longer than i thought  
>  **Leorio** : Alright. Gon how long until you reach the port?  
>  **Gon** : hmmmm idk lemme check  
>  **Gon** : ooh i can see it!!!  
>  **Gon** : prob like 40 min???  
>  **Killua** : damn  
>  **Leorio** : Okay nice  
>  **Killua** : you’re gonna beat me now, this sucks  
>  **Gon** : told you!!  
>  **Leorio** : It’s fine, it’s not a race  
>  **Killua** : yes it is  
>  **Killua** : and i would’ve won if gon played fair  
>  **Gon** : ur just mad bc i made a smart choice n thats rare  
>  **Leorio** : Stop talking about yourself that way  
>  **Killua** : the old man is right  
>  **Killua** : you’re smart, you just prefer action over thinking  
>  **Kurapika** : Gon your ability to think outside the box has saved all of our lives multiple times, I do not want to hear it.  
>  **Gon** : dkfgjfkgf stopppppp  
>  **Kurapika** : Sorry I’m late to the conversation by the way, I’m just now leaving. Currently checking my flight info  
>  **Leorio** : Dope come on go asshole the light is green what fucking hick town did you learn to drive in idiot  
>  **Killua** : ASDKFDKFD  
>  **Kurapika** : Leorio, are you using voice to text?  
>  **Leorio** : Yes I’m driving responsibly  
>  **Kurapika** : Sure seems like it.  
>  **Gon** : hes right though you shouldnt text and drive!!  
>  **Killua** : true but leorio please learn how to use your phone  
>  **Killua** : i am begging  
>  **Killua** : the more you act like an old man the more im scared you will die of old age soon  
>  **Leorio** : Killua I have had it up to here with your sass  
>  **Killua** : what about kurapika’s sass  
>  **Gon** : that doesnt count theyre in love  
>  **Leorio** : Gon what the fuck  
>  **Kurapika** : Excuse me?  
>  **Gon** : im right and i should say it  
>  **Killua** : AHAHAHAHAFHFHD  
>  **Leorio** : Anyway Gon I will be waiting to pick you up. Please don’t say any more weird shit  
>  **Kurapika** : Flight is on schedule. I have to put my phone on airship mode now. See you in five hours.

Kurapika was still a few minutes away from the airport, but he turned off his phone anyway and watched the scenery. As flustered as he was now, as awkward as it was that Gon had brought up something he had hoped to put off for at least a few days, he couldn’t help the excitement he felt. How long had it been since he was excited for anything?

The car had barely stopped moving before Kurapika got out of it. Dragging his suitcase that carried all of his material possessions, he walked through the glass doors of the airport without a backwards glance.


	2. Chapter 2

> _ Group Message: Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, Gon _
> 
> **Killua** : KURAPIKA GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD   
>  **Gon** : its ok that just proves it   
>  **Leorio** : You don’t know what you’re talking about   
>  **Gon** : yes i do   
>  **Gon** : kurapika was on his phone for maybe ten minutes   
>  **Gon** : he texted us as soon as he could when he was on his way and then had to go after such a short amount of time???   
>  **Gon** : theres no way hes at the airport now   
>  **Gon** : hes in love with you and doesnt wanna admit it and thats why he ran away   
>  **Gon** : ive connected the dots   
>  **Leorio** : You didn’t connect shit   
>  **Gon** : ive connected them   
>  **Killua** : gon its been obvious literally ever since i met you guys   
>  **Killua** : probably longer tbh   
>  **Gon** : but did you just prove it?? :)   
>  **Leorio** : Both of you please shut up right now
> 
> _ Message: from Leorio _
> 
> **Leorio** : Hey everyone wanted to come with me to pick you up. We’ll meet you at baggage claim

Kurapika frowned as he caught up on the new messages that all arrived at once. He wondered if maybe some of the group chat replies hadn’t come through yet, but he continued to receive nothing. He didn’t believe for a second that the boys actually stopped teasing Leorio.

So, they probably continued that discussion privately, didn’t they? Maybe Leorio did actually convince them to drop it. He wondered what the other man said, and if it worked or not. The truth would probably convince them to back off. Leorio probably would have been unwilling to give that much detail though. It was possible that he told part of the truth, and would be partly successful.

But he said everyone was picking him up - that would include Alluka, right? Kurapika had only met her once before, but before she finally got her own phone he always ended up speaking to her as well whenever he contacted Killua so they had become friends too. Her presence would either make the situation better or worse and he had no idea which. He simply didn’t know her well enough to judge.

Positive and negative anticipation competed with each other as Kurapika got closer to the meeting point. It wasn’t until he spotted the group waiting for him that he finally relaxed. They noticed him around the same time, all four of them brightening simultaneously. Gon began running towards him immediately - rather than tell him off, the rest of the group decided to follow. And maybe Kurapika picked up his pace a little as well.

Gon practically flung himself at Kurapika as soon as they were within three feet of each other. They were the same height now, he realized as he automatically returned his friend’s hug. “It’s so good to see you again,” Gon was saying.

Killua and Alluka caught up then, but paused a little awkwardly before Kurapika turned to them and extended an arm. Alluka happily jumped in on the group hug, dragging her brother with her. Kurapika noticed that Killua was definitely taller than him now. He also noticed that he had been smiling so hard his cheeks were beginning to hurt from it.

Suddenly he felt another warmth at his back and a second pair of arms surrounded him. It was almost too hot, but that was fine with him. He had to hold back happy tears as Leorio told him “I’m so glad you were able to make it.”

Kuapika kept his eyes closed. His eyes must be red, and he was definitely about to cry. “Me too. I’ve missed you.”

Nobody pulled away for a while. He was grateful both for that and for nobody saying anything about it.

* * *

A feeling of calm settled over Kurapika as he grabbed his suitcase from the carousel and followed the group to Leorio’s car. Gon and Killua kept up a steady stream of chatter, occasionally interrupted by Alluka’s laughter or Leorio’s fake-irritated comments. Kurapika was mostly content to listen, though he occasionally asked questions to signal that he was paying attention.

Gon and Killua began to race to the car as soon as it was in sight. Alluka rolled her eyes and checked her phone. Leorio simply unlocked the doors before the boys reached them and tore the handles off trying to open them.

Alluka volunteered to take the middle back seat - Gon and Killua automatically sat on either side of her, which left shotgun for Kurapika. He briefly thought about hunting the Troupe in Yorknew. But he was dressed as himself this time, and Killua and Alluka were in the car with them, and there was laughter in the air instead of worry. Leorio was sitting casually in the driver’s seat. His grip on the wheel was loose and comfortable, not the anxious white-knuckled grasp he had back then.

The other shoe finally dropped when Leorio reached the parking lot exit. “Hey gramps, where are we all sleeping?” Killlua asked.

The driver gave him a dangerous look in the rearview mirror. Kurapika, who already knew where this was going, turned around to give him a matching glare. “The couch pulls out, so two of you can fit on it. I have air mattresses for the other two. I’m keeping my bed, sorry.”

“Huh? You don’t wanna share with Kurapika?” Gon asked, with all the innocence of a kid who didn’t know exactly what he was implying. Kurapika shifted his glare and was met with a mischievous grin.

“I’ll be fine on an air mattress,” Kurapika said quickly.

Alluka hummed. “That’s weird, I thought you two were a couple. I’m not the only one who thought that, right?”

With a defeated sigh, Kurapika faced forward again. It didn’t matter if Alluka was lying through her adorable teeth. There was no way he would be able to give her that kind of look, even as a warning. “I’m not discussing this with you three.” He forced himself not to look at Leorio as he said this.

Leorio let out a sigh of his own. “You kids promised not to tease him anymore,” he said. (Well, that confirmed he said something to them in private, and definitely not the whole story.)

“Hm? I didn’t promise anything,” Alluka said.

“I wasn’t teasing Kurapika! I was teasing you and then Kurapika interrupted,” Gon added. As if there was a difference.

“So I’m sharing the couch with one of you,” Killua went on, and then glanced at Kurapika. He seemed to pick up that they were stepping in something they really didn’t want to get into right now.

Gon hummed as he processed this. Alluka shrugged. “I’ll take the air mattress. I’ve had my big brother to myself for like three weeks, it’s Gon’s turn now.”

Killua blushed and looked away, despite being the one to bring it up. Kurapika made a mental note to thank him later.

Leorio, ever so kind, finally spoke again to take the heat off the poor kid. “While I’m thinking about it, we need to establish a few ground rules before we get back to my place. You guys are welcome to any of the food, and toiletries or towels or whatever if you forgot your own. The only condition is you let me know what you use so I know what I need to get more of. If a container of anything is down to less than a quarter, tell me.

Also, since tonight is a special occasion, I got us some scotch.” Leorio ignored the shocked glare Kurapika leveled at him. “However! Everyone is limited to two drinks. Except for Alluka, you can only have one.”

“Excuse me!” Killua leaned forward. “Alluka is still underage! She shouldn’t be drinking at all!”

“That’s why her limit is lower! And it’s not your decision, it’s hers!”

“Yeah, he’s right!” Alluka crossed her arms and pouted, which maybe didn’t help to make the case that she was mature enough to decide for herself, but did make Killua back down.

“Fine. As long as you’re careful.” Killua crossed his arms as well. Kurapika did his best not to laugh at them. He realized he failed when Killua kicked the back of his seat.

* * *

The apartment complex Leorio lived in was nicer than expected, though still a far cry from luxury. It was relatively secluded, across the street from a different complex and a few minutes’ drive away from the nearest public areas. The actual apartment Leorio lived in wasn’t too bad, either. It had only one bedroom, but the living area was pretty spacious and nicely furnished. If Kurapika had to find something to insult, it would be the lack of decor. The main hints of personality were in the medical textbooks on almost every surface. The bookshelves were completely full and they still weren’t enough to contain it all. (Kurapika was surprised to see at least four different languages among just the books on the coffee table. Not that he had much time to examine them, since they were quickly moved to the kitchen counter.)

Everyone was barely across the threshold before the alcohol was brought out. True to his word, Leorio had cut himself and Gon off at two glasses of scotch. Gon had roped Killua into chugging one like it was a shot, but he was unaffected. Alluka did have a taste as well - after making a series of hilarious expressions, she decided not to accept a full glass. She seemed unaffected too. As for Kurapika, he was technically still nursing his second drink, but he hadn’t touched it in a while.

He was feeling...very warm. Kurapika knew he was kind of a lightweight, and he knew that he would get dizzy if he stood up. He knew this because he couldn’t stop thinking about Leorio.

Maybe it was because the subject of their relationship (or more accurately, lack thereof) had been brought up earlier, but all he really wanted to do was lean into the man next to him, pull him down into a kiss, crawl into his bed with him, wake up wrapped around him. Kurapika knew he needed to keep more self control than that though. So he left his scotch alone as he waited for this feeling to pass.

Gon had stripped down to only his shorts and a tank top and started rambling about how much he loved everyone and everything in his life. Killua was the only one listening, but even he seemed more focused on the alcohol induced flush and the brilliant smile on his face. Alluka had already fallen asleep and been carried to her bed.

With the boys distracted by each other, Leorio nudged Kurapika. “I’m going outside for a smoke. Care to join me?”

“Sure.” Kurapika stood and followed without complaint. He had a feeling the man wanted to talk about some uncomfortable topic he would hate, but it was better than sinking into the soft couch and staring at Leorio’s five o’clock shadow and letting his thoughts wander to places he had not allowed them to go in months.

The balcony they stepped out onto wasn’t huge, but was bigger than it seemed. There was enough room for three chairs and a small table with an empty beer bottle on it. Both of them ignored the chairs and leaned against the railing that looked out over the parking lot of the complex. Kurapika finally felt the dizziness from the drink hit him.

The cool air didn’t clear his mind as much as he hoped it would. Somehow Leorio actually looked sexy when he smoked - long fingers carefully pulling a cigarette out of the box, deftly lighting it as he held it between his lips. Leorio had taken a puff and offered the box to Kurapika before he even thought to look away.

He was supposed to be quitting. Senritsu made him promise. He took a cigarette anyway.

Leorio held the lighter for him - somehow that was erotic, too. Or maybe Kurapika was just lonely and horny and in way over his head. He hated how much he enjoyed smoking together despite (because of?) the fact that it will kill him if he keeps it up. He hated that Leorio enjoyed it, too.

The man himself was watching Kurapika with an expression much more tender than he deserved. “So, have you thought about what you’re going to do now?”

Suddenly Kurapika wasn’t aroused at all anymore. But the intimacy of the moment lingered. He exhaled and looked out towards the sky, hoping to quell it. “Well, I still haven’t buried the eyes,” he admitted. “The journey home is a long one, and I haven’t been able to get away from work long enough. Beyond that, I don’t know yet.”

“I see.” Leorio paused for a moment to cough. “Would you like some help?”

He took a moment to consider it. The work would certainly go faster, and he trusted Leorio enough to be respectful. Sure, it would be making him vulnerable… but he didn’t have an excuse to cower away from that anymore, did he? (He had been doing that anyway all night. For the last three weeks. For much longer, but to be fair it was actually dangerous then.) “Yes, that would be nice.”

That answer seemed to surprise Leorio, but he covered it up quickly with a smile. “Great. So we should figure out when we’re going as soon as possible so I can make arrangements for school.”

“I wanted to go as soon as possible. I was planning on staying for the week you invited us before I went, but I can wait another week if you need more time.” His mouth already tasted like ash. He kind of hated it, but also found comfort in the familiarity.

“One week should be enough… Maybe I’ll need one more day tops,” Leorio said. “How long will the trip take? And will it be just us?”

Kurapika took a moment to consider as he took another drag from his cigarette. “We should allow ourselves four full days of travel, two there and two back. Digging thirty-six holes deep enough would probably take about an hour each, so with the two of us that would be about a day and a half. The rituals are another day and a half. And I’d like to give us an extra day.” He tapped some ash off the end. “I haven’t talked to anyone else about this. But if you’re coming, it seems right to invite the others.”

Leorio nodded as he took this all in. “Eight days, huh? That’s shorter than I was expecting. I think we should bring them and take eight days anyway. It’ll give us time to actually see the place.”

“There’s nothing -” he started, but he paused when he remembered the unique things he missed, the things that would still be there. Mainly the scenery and the wildlife. And the buildings had been abandoned for almost a decade now, but they should at least be standing.

Leorio picked up on his train of thought. “I’d like to take the time to see it. I want to see what it was like to grow up there. I want to get an idea of what your life was like.”

Somehow, Kurapika thought he wasn’t talking about a strictly anthropological curiosity. “Okay then,” he responded. He was sure he was blushing. He finished his cigarette and refused to make eye contact.

There was a moment of silence then, where it seemed like Leorio wanted to say something but couldn’t come up with the words. What he apparently settled on was, “I’ve got to stop smoking. It’s an expensive habit.” He squashed his cigarette against the railing before dropping the butt in the bottle on the patio table.

Kurapika grimaced, but followed suit. “I promised that I would quit too,” he said.

“Well, let’s hold each other to that.” Leorio took the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. It seemed he was about to throw it, but he thought better of it. “I’ll throw these in the trash when we’re inside and then we’re done smoking.”

“Will you really be able to quit so easily?” Kurapika blinked. He didn’t mean for that to come out as an insult, but of course the other man took it as one.

“Of course. I can’t get mad at you for killing your lungs if I’m doing the same damn thing.”

“What about your liver?” He knew better than to point out that spite was a terrible motivation to quit.

Leorio huffed and turned away. “One thing at a time, Pika.” His tone screamed that he knew he was being a little hypocritical. But honestly, Kurapika couldn’t blame him, so he didn’t push it.

One thing at a time. He thought maybe he should adopt the same approach. He looked away from Leorio and his eyes fell on a stray cat wandering between the cars. As he watched it, he started thinking about transporting the eyes back where they belonged.

* * *

> _ Message: to Senritsu _
> 
> **Kurapika** : How was your first day?  
>  **Senritsu** : Well, Light is a completely helpless person, but it’s fine  
>  **Senritsu** : Actually, everything did go pretty well today  
>  **Senritsu** : I was just expecting more orders, you know? Instead, he basically left everything up to my judgement.  
>  **Kurapika** : Yes, ever since Neon’s death he’s been pretty hands-off  
>  **Senritsu** : What a nice, professional way to say he doesn’t follow up on anything  
>  **Senritsu** : I think I prefer it that way, honestly  
>  **Kurapika** : I get it. Makes it easier to work on your own goals on the side.  
>  **Senritsu** : Is that why you chose me for this role?  
>  **Kurapika** : Partly.  
>  **Kurapika** : Linssen would have refused the position. He almost refused the position he has now. When you’re ready to move on, you may be able to ease him into taking over by slowly giving him more authority until suddenly he’s doing your job.  
>  **Kurapika** : As for Basho, he’s competent but less so than the two of you. You were the natural choice over him.  
>  **Senritsu** : I don’t know if I should be flattered, thankful, or scared  
>  **Kurapika** : All three.  
>  **Senritsu** : I really should not be surprised you put this much thought into it when it’s not even your concern anymore  
>  **Senritsu** : I mean, I appreciate that you didn’t just half-ass your way through your last few weeks and dip, but you absolutely could have and nobody would have blamed you  
>  **Kurapika** : That would have made things harder for you, though  
>  **Senritsu** : Thank you  
>  **Kurapika** : Of course  
>  **Senritsu** : So how was your first day off?  
>  **Kurapika** : Well, we all drank last night so we slept in. Then Leorio made pancakes for brunch, then we watched a movie. Now we’re at the park  
>  **Kurapika** : I have boba  
>  **Senritsu** : Tell everyone I said hi  
>  **Kurapika** : Sure, as soon as they stand still long enough  
>  **Senritsu** : What movie did you watch and how did they convince you to watch it with them?  
>  **Kurapika** : I forgot the name, but it was some superhero action movie or whatever  
>  **Kurapika** : It’s pretty recent I think. Apparently Alluka wanted to see it last year but they wouldn’t let her and Killua in the theater. Killua was still angry that flashing his hunter’s license didn’t even change their minds lol  
>  **Kurapika** : It wasn’t bad. Pretty unrealistic but fun to watch I suppose  
>  **Kurapika** : Honestly I probably wouldn’t have seen it on my own but none of us felt like going out immediately after eating so we decided to do that before we came downtown  
>  **Senritsu** : I see.  
>  **Senritsu** : I’m happy for you  
>  **Kurapika** : What?  
>  **Senritsu** : You’re getting back to your usual talkative self. You must be feeling better already  
>  **Kurapika** : In case you forgot, I have boba  
>  **Senritsu** : And you’re surrounded by good friends  
>  **Kurapika** : Yes, I am  
>  **Senritsu** : Ah, I have to go, it seems the newbies are confused and now I have to go sort them out  
>  **Kurapika** : Give them hell  
>  **Senritsu** : That seems excessive  
>  **Senritsu** : I will calmly and politely kick their asses into gear  
>  **Kurapika** : That’s why you were always my favorite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nowhere near done with chapter three so I was gonna wait until Sunday to post this, but I got excited oop
> 
> Sorry that there's less texting in this chapter. The next chapter will probably be similar since the homies are together for a bit, plus I still have to establish some story things.
> 
> I haven't fully caught up with the manga, but I am including some details from it. It's just gonna be kinda vague and hand-wavey since it's not even finished anyway. So if I remember something wrong, then we'll just call this a canon divergent au I guess.
> 
> Next chapter expect more fluff, more shenanigans, more Alluka and Senritsu, and more romanticizing NOT smoking!! (I'm trying to quit too, hahaaah~~)


	3. Chapter 3

> _ Group message: Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, Gon _
> 
> **Kurapika** : Five minutes.   
>  **Kurapika** : I was texting Senritsu for five minutes and you three have already run off.   
>  **Kurapika** : Only Alluka stayed near me.   
>  **Gon** : it was LITERALLY FOREVER   
>  **Killua** : we got bored   
>  **Kurapika** : It was FIVE MINUTES   
>  **Gon** : THATS WAY TOO LONG   
>  **Leorio** : Hey I only left you to look for them   
>  **Leorio** : I SAID I was going to look for them but you were ignoring me as always smh   
>  **Leorio** : Speaking of which. Where tf did you lil shits go   
>  **Killua** : west   
>  **Leorio** : That does not help   
>  **Gon** : by the trees   
>  **Leorio** : The entire west side of the park is trees!!!!!!   
>  **Kurapika** : Where is the nearest coffee shop?   
>  **Leorio** : Why do you need coffee? You just got boba   
>  **Kurapika** : I finished it   
>  **Gon** : ooo lets meet up there im thirsty   
>  **Leorio** : You said you didn’t want anything from the tea stall!!!!!!   
>  **Gon** : yea i dont like tea   
>  **Kurapika** : That’s because you have no taste but yes let’s meet at the coffee shop   
>  **Killua** : why do all of you have caffeine addictions   
>  **Leorio** : Med school   
>  **Kurapika** : Thirty-six hour shifts   
>  **Gon** : idk i just like cold brew   
>  **Leorio** : 36 HOURS KURAPIKA   
>  **Killua** : SHIFTS?? PLURAL???   
>  **Kurapika** : You asked!!   
>  **Leorio** : Oh my god I am going to strangle you   
>  **Kurapika** : Cool. You never told us where the nearest coffee shop is   
>  **Gon** : im lookin it up now   
>  **Leorio** : NO we are not getting coffee   
>  **Kurapika** : Maybe you’re not but Gon and I are :)   
>  **Killua** : please do not   
>  **Gon** : i will buy you hot chocolate   
>  **Killua** : lets go   
>  **Kurapika** : dkasfkjfghkdfkd   
>  **Leorio** : You are all disasters   
>  **Kurapika** : You are too, though   
>  **Leorio** : I never said I wasn’t but ALSO I have never WORKED A THIRTY SIX HOUR SHIFT   
>  **Leorio** : I feel like that got glossed over too easily   
>  **Leorio** : Also didn’t you literally make the schedule   
>  **Kurapika** : That was when Senritsu was on leave   
>  **Killua** : there had to be a better solution though   
>  **Kurapika** : Not really but can we please move on? When Senritsu found out she made Nostrade give me a week off and locked me in my room and made me sleep. I have served my guilt sentence   
>  **Gon** : queen shit   
>  **Killua** : we love to see it   
>  **Leorio** : I don’t know what those words mean but I love Senritsu   
>  **Kurapika** : Yeah, me too   
>  **Kurapika** : So are we getting coffee or not?   
>  **Gon** : o yeah theres a place on 8th st that looks good!!   
>  **Kurapika** : Alluka was actually looking it up too, she agrees   
>  **Leorio** : Fine, but only if you get de-   
>  **Leorio** : Dec-   
>  **Leorio** : DecaaaaaaUUGH nevermind I cant even say it   
>  **Gon** : pls dont subject him to that :(   
>  **Killua** : you are all so dramatic i don’t get it even a little   
>  **Kurapika** : I actually agree with you, Killua. Caffeine is effective, but so is the placebo effect. I often drink decaf towards the end of a shift so I can actually sleep a few hours. I was even planning on getting half-caf since I just had tea   
>  **Gon** : you really just admitted to drinking decaf   
>  **Gon** : who hurt you   
>  **Kurapika** : Chrollo Lucilfer   
>  **Gon** : SSTOPPFKGLDFGJ   
>  **Killua** : JGKJGHKJGFDKJGFK   
>  **Leorio** : PLEASEEEE   
>  **Kurapika** : We are already here. I will order for all of us   
>  **Kurapika** : Your usuals, right?   
>  **Killua** : yea sure   
>  **Gon** : yes pls!!!!!!   
>  **Leorio** : In case you forgot, I JUST had tea   
>  **Kurapika** : So, only two shots in yours instead of six?   
>  **Killua** : SIX???? kurapika please say sike   
>  **Leorio** : How do you know my coffee order   
>  **Killua** : oh my god   
>  **Killua** : its bc he loves us dude, don’t make it awkward   
>  **Leorio** : Oh my godfjkfgkfj   
>  **Kurapika** : Answer my question or you’re getting nothing   
>  **Kurapika** : You have until the person in front of us finishes ordering   
>  **Leorio** : FINE yes only two shots   
>  **Gon** : we just got here but were claiming a table outside!!   
>  **Leorio** : I’m passing 7th now, I’ll see you in like thirty seconds

* * *

The first day was mostly spent catching up, chatting at the cafe before a tour of Leorio’s neighborhood and more chatting over dinner at a shitty chain restaurant. The second full day everyone spent together was busy, but not in a stressful way - which was a new experience for Kurapika. Leorio was only able to get a few weekdays off, so they had to take advantage of the time all five of them had together.

Each of them got to pick an activity for the day. Gon wanted to see the aquarium and Killua wanted to check out the arcade. Alluka chose the mall - Kurapika was relieved when they all had fun browsing together and it felt nothing like watching Neon shop. Leorio decided instead of choosing an activity, he would choose the place they went to for lunch. Kurapika was honestly content to do whatever everyone else wanted to do, but nobody would take that for an answer so he asked to see the arts district.

Before they knew it, they spent more money than they had planned, so they decided to just go back home for dinner. Kurapika offered to help, but he was a pretty atrocious cook. Leorio knew this well. He accepted the offer to chop vegetables and measure out ingredients and then promptly kicked the other man out of the kitchen. After their standard argument, Kurapika gave in and returned to the couch.

Everyone else was sitting on the floor surrounding the coffee table. Alluka had successfully convinced Killua to help her paint her nails - or rather, to do it for her. He was shaking a bottle of black polish as Gon talked about homework.

“I worked through my summer and winter breaks for two years and I’m still behind in school,” he whined. “The vacations I took with you were the only breaks I had that whole time. Even now, the only way I could convince Mito to let me come was telling her Kurapika is coming, and she still made me finish my literature paper early! If I get a bad grade on it, I’ll have to take the class all over again!”

“You shouldn’t worry so much about it,” Killua said, not even looking up from his work. “You’re a pro hunter. You can afford to do things at your own pace.”

Kurapika nodded in agreement. “A formal education matters, but only if you actually learn from it. Don’t try to rush through it.” Rich coming from someone who hasn’t had any kind of schooling in almost a decade, he supposed, but that didn’t mean he ever stopped studying or learning.

“Yeah, what’s the point if you’re not learning anything?” It seemed like Alluka wanted to add something, but seemed to think better of it. She pursed her lips and watched Gon with wide eyes.

Gon made a noise that expressed agreement, but also discontentment. “Mito says the point of analyzing literature is to teach you critical thinking. My teachers always say I miss the obvious things and nail the subtle ones. If I accidentally did that for a whole paper, I’m not learning whatever I’m supposed to be.”

“Tell me about your paper.” Kurapika may be at a loss for how to comfort his friend, but maybe he could offer something more practical. “What book did you write about?”

“The Tales of D Hunter! Have you read it, Kurapika?”

He sat up a little straighter at that. “It’s one of my favorites,” he said.

Killua spoke up once again. “That’s kind of surprising. I thought you’d prefer political satire or like, literal history textbooks. Okay Alluka, I’m done.”

As the young girl held up her hands and admired her brother’s work, Gon shoved his hands on the table in front of Killua. “Oh, me next!” His face lit up when Killua began painting without a word.

Kurapika tried not to appear too annoyed. “Okay, history actually is interesting, at least when you’re talking about the truth and not the watered down version used for propaganda. But I can enjoy a light hearted adventure, too.” He turned back to Gon, who was trying to sit still for his manicure. “Anyway, what topic did you write about for your paper?”

“Oh, um… I think C is an unreliable narrator. I basically analyzed her character, and then talked about how that changed her perception of events.” Everyone around blinked in surprise as they absorbed this. “So… it is a weird topic, huh?”

“Maybe, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think you may be right, actually,” Kurapika said a little quietly as he thought. It wasn’t something he had considered before, but it would make a lot of sense.

“Um, what’s an unreliable narrator?” Alluka asked.

Kurapika answered immediately. “It means the character telling the story isn’t telling the truth. They may be lying or omitting certain things, or they’re simply biased or missing vital information. So whatever the case, C’s version of events is inaccurate.” He turned to Gon then. “It sounds like you don’t think she’s lying, though.”

Gon shook his head. “No, she’s just insecure and put D up on a pedestal because he’s the kind of person she wants to become. A lot of people think she was in love with him, but I think she was just idolizing him.”

“Yeah, she obviously had a thing for that girl from the village,” Alluka pointed out. “C is a lesbian but that is a conversation for another time I think.”

“Obviously she was,” Kurapika agreed. “But Gon, I think you really do have a case here. As long as you articulated your argument well, which you’re usually better at in writing than verbally anyway, you probably got a really good grade.”

Gon’s smile turned bright. “You really think so?”

Kurapika nodded. Alluka chimed in again as well. “I never realized it before either, but that would make more sense,” she said thoughtfully. “Especially when they’re fighting the dragon, it always seemed like a lot of lucky breaks were chalked up to how cunning or athletic or kind D was, or whatever.”

That led to a whole conversation about the Tales of Hunter D and Gon’s paper on it. Killua was eventually forced to admit he had only seen a movie adaptation so he didn’t have much to contribute to the conversation. Instead he focused on the base coat on Gon’s nails and top coat on Alluka’s as the others discussed literature in depth.

They spoke about how D’s good traits were definitely there, but exaggerated to fit C’s image of him. Kurapika and Alluka mentioned a few examples that Gon hadn’t thought of - rather than take offense or beat himself up for leaving them out of his paper, he seemed happy to realize there was even more evidence to back him up.

Gon and Alluka’s nails were finished, and Alluka convinced Killua to let her do his nails too so they could match. This led to Kurapika’s nails being painted too, as the teens insisted he couldn’t be left out. The conversation shifted to the story of Hunter D in general then. Killua had more to add then, and Kurapika actually became quieter as they compared the book with the movie version the Zoldyck family owned, which he had not seen.

Leorio came into the room while Alluka was halfway through the top coat of polish on Kurapika’s nails. “Alright, dinner’s ready in ten minutes. You guys can set the table since you didn’t help cook.”

“You specifically kicked me out of the kitchen,” Kurapika reminded him.

“My nails are still wet,” Killua drawled.

“I can help when I’m finished with Kurapika’s,” Alluka said brightly.

Gon jumped up. “It’s okay, I can do it!” Before anyone could protest, he ran into the kitchen and started pulling plates out of the cabinet.

Alluka sighed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, I guess that gives the rest of us some time to wait, then. I can paint your nails too, Leorio! Then all five of us can match.”

The series of expressions on Leorio’s face were hilarious and endearing - Kurapika could tell exactly what he was thinking. (He didn’t know if he wanted to, but maybe it would be funny if he did, and it was kind of funny that everyone else did, but it actually looked kind of good, but did they really have to pick black?) He liked that Leorio had stopped bothering to hide anything from them long ago. The expression settled on a crooked smile. “Fine, but just one coat please. I’m not allowed to have it on at the hospital so I have to take it off in the morning.” 

“Coward,” Killua said, even as he sat down in front of Alluka and offered his hands. This led to a very long and very loud lecture on chipped nail polish and bacteria that they could only follow a little. Kurapika hung on every word regardless.

* * *

> _ Message: from Senritsu _
> 
> **Kurapika** : So, I’ve finalized my plans to return to Lukso. Everyone has decided they want to come with me.   
>  **Senritsu** : Good, they will be a huge help. When will you be leaving?   
>  **Kurapika** : The middle of next week. Leorio and Gon will both have to catch up on a certain amount of schoolwork before they’re able to leave again. In the meantime, the Zoldycks will visit Whale Island with Gon and I will extend my stay with Leorio.   
>  **Senritsu** : Oh, I see.    
>  **Kurapika** : Do not.   
>  **Senritsu** : Will that not be awkward?   
>  **Kurapika** : No.   
>  **Senritsu** : If you say so.   
>  **Kurapika** : We haven’t had time to talk about it. Things still haven’t calmed down enough. I expect it will come up after the kids leave.   
>  **Senritsu** : Hm, I know you well enough to know that is at least mostly true   
>  **Senritsu** : If I wasn’t working I would just call you, but for now I will trust you   
>  **Kurapika** : Thank you   
>  **Kurapika** : I didn’t mean to interrupt your work   
>  **Senritsu** : It’s fine, I needed a short break. But I will call you when my shift is over   
>  **Kurapika** : I actually have plans with Alluka to spy on Killua and Gon. They’re going on a date tonight   
>  **Senritsu** : That seems disrespectful and unwise   
>  **Kurapika** : It was Alluka’s idea   
>  **Senritsu** : You are caving to the wishes of a fourteen year old   
>  **Kurapika** : She is an adorable fourteen year old   
>  **Senritsu** : If you do not answer when I call, I will assume you are in trouble and alert Killua   
>  **Kurapika** : Oh my god, fine

* * *

The sun was just beginning to rise when Kurapika woke the fourth morning of his stay. Everything in the living room of the apartment was tinted with a grayish blue. The only noises to be heard were the air conditioner and the breathing of his friends.

Leorio was nowhere to be seen, which was only to be expected this early. Gon and Killua were just a tangled mess of limbs and hair at this point - it looked like they had possibly been cuddling at one point, but both of them were moving around in their sleep.

Surprisingly, Alluka was laying on her back with her arms at her sides, looking like she had been awake all night. She was still looking up at the ceiling. A sense of deja vu overcame Kurapika at the sight.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked gently, so as not to wake the others. A pair of blue eyes turned to him and he remembered asking the same question to a different Zoldyck during the hunter exam.

Alluka tried to put on a smile, but it didn’t fool Kurapika for a second. “I can go a day without sleep if Nanika isn’t using her power. It’s not as much as my big brother, but I only did some of the training he did.”

Kurapika couldn’t stop himself from blinking. “Weren’t you locked away when you were four?”

“Yeah, Zoldyck training starts at birth. I stopped a long time ago, that’s why I’m not as physically strong as my siblings.” The matter of fact way she said it was both heartbreaking and infuriating. “So I think I’ve lost most of it. Or at least I thought I did until the other day.”

“You mean when you drank that scotch?”

“Mhm. I thought since I hadn’t been exposed to poison in so long that it would actually be dangerous for me. I’m not about to go test that with something deadlier and I never want to, but… I don’t know. It surprised me.” Alluka flipped onto her stomach and rested her chin on her crossed arms. “It’s been making me think a lot.”

Kurapika propped his head up as well. He had never seen her quite like this - she definitely had more to say, but for some reason she wasn’t saying it. And everything she had said so far… well, she took on the same tone as Killua did when he talked about his past. Casual and detached. It was enough to make him want to go back to Kukuroo Mountain and get rid of the last remaining Zoldycks. Instead, he decided to prompt Alluka to continue. “What kind of things are you thinking about?”

It took a moment for Alluka to gather her thoughts. Kurapika waited patiently. “Like, I was locked in a single room and that sucked, but at least I had toys and books and games. I even had an elementary school level education. Big brother had to keep getting tortured.”

“Solitary confinement is torture too,” Kurapika said.

“Yeah, but I’ve never been alone in my life.” Alluka smiled a little then, but it disappeared. “I only had a taste of what big brother went through, and even that changed me forever. I guess I can deal with it though. I just hate that it happened to big brother. And Kalluto.

They had different training after they turned six. It made them different people. And then after they both left home, they met different people. I still worry about Kalluto, you know. They’re still my younger sibling. I want them to know I’m proud of them for being themself, and they don’t have to be alone in the world.

I’m just glad Killua met you guys. If he hadn’t, Illumi would’ve manipulated him forever and Kalluto wouldn’t have had a chance to become a better person and I would still be in that room.” Alluka sighed. She already seemed happier, as if the heavy words she had just spoken had been lifted from her. “I guess I shouldn’t be upset about things that would have happened. They didn’t, and they never will. And I’m grateful for that.”

Kurapika nodded at that as he tried to formulate a response. What could he say to all that? She didn’t need his anger, but that was all he knew how to offer. “I’m glad we met too,” he settled on. “I don’t have many friends, so Killua is very precious to me. So are you. So are Gon and Leorio.”

Sunlight started to peek in through the blinds. Alluka smiled, but she seemed to want to cry instead. “I know he loves you all too. When he got me out, he talked about you all the time. Well, he talked about Gon most.”

“Of course he did.” Kurapika glanced at the pair again. Gon was snoring. Killua was smiling in his sleep. “But I know he cares for all of us the same way.”

“Good. If you didn’t know, I’d be worried about you too.”

Dawn continued to slowly brighten up the room. “Killua is strong. You are too. You have each other, and you have us, and you’ll continue to make new friends. I don’t think you need to worry. Everything will be okay.”

Alluka lifted her head. “Same goes for you. Thanks for listening to me.”

“Of course.” The smile he offered was small, but genuine. “Would you like to get some breakfast, or try to take a nap before everyone else is up?”

“Breakfast sounds good, but I can’t cook either.”

“I’ll try not to burn the cereal, then,” Kurapika replied as he stood and stretched. He saw the black polish still on his nails and the smile didn’t disappear from his face.

* * *

> _ Group message: Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, Gon, Alluka _
> 
> **Leorio** : Today is slow and boring how are you guys  
>  **Kurapika** : They’re pretty absorbed in their game right now, so apparently that’s fun for them  
>  **Leorio** : Did they not invite you to play with them? Lol rude  
>  **Kurapika** : They did invite me, I just lost  
>  **Leorio** : You lost?? What game is this  
>  **Kurapika** : Monopoly  
>  **Leorio** : Bullshit, you are way too stubborn and cunning to lose at monopoly  
>  **Kurapika** : Luck in the beginning of the game is a huge factor in determining the outcome. My turn was fourth and my rolls were unlucky. I couldn’t obtain enough property to get any power at all. I didn’t even have anything I could use as a bargaining chip  
>  **Leorio** : God i hate that fucking game so much, even talking about it is making my blood boil  
>  **Kurapika** : That’s probably why they decided to play when you were at school. This game makes us all so vindictive  
>  **Kurapika** : Before I went bankrupt, I basically made all my decisions to prevent Killua from winning, not to try to win myself  
>  **Leorio** : I mean you’re a vindictive prick anyway  
>  **Kurapika** : I will bash your skull in for that  
>  **Leorio** : That is exACTLY WHAT I MEAN  
>  **Kurapika** : But you deserve it  
>  **Leorio** : NO YOURE JUST SENSITIVE  
>  **Kurapika** : I’m not sensitive, you’re just annoying  
>  **Leorio** : Most people do not respond to annoyance with death threats  
>  **Kurapika** : You do  
>  **Leorio** : Im like ninety percent joking though, but you have never told a joke in your life  
>  **Kurapika** : Knock knock  
>  **Leorio** : Shut the fuck up  
>  **Kurapika** : That is not how it goes  
>  **Killua** : can you two take your sexual tension to a private thread, or at least one WITHOUT MY LITTLE SISTER IN IT  
>  **Kurapika** : We have said nothing sexually charged  
>  **Leorio** : Exactly!!!  
>  **Leorio** : Also i felt like we were accidentally leaving alluka out and that made me guilty so thats why i started this thread  
>  **Alluka** : thats sweet leorio but i dont want to see this  
>  **Killua** : DJHFSKDFJGHDJFLKG  
>  **Kurapika** : I have killed before. I think I am about to kill again  
>  **Alluka** : me too bitch youre not special  
>  **Killua** : ALLUKA FKJGFKKNOOOOO  
>  **Gon** : wait i thought that was nanika????  
>  **Killua** : zoldyck training starts at birth  
>  **Leorio** : Hey killua can you stop teaching your little sister your fucked up coping mechanisms??  
>  **Killua** : no <3  
>  **Alluka** : its okay i actually talk about my trauma like a healthy person so im allowed to joke about it  
>  **Alluka** : i am subtweeting all four of you  
>  **Kurapika** : You have a twitter account?  
>  **Killua** : wow  
>  **Gon** : KILLUA IT IS YOUR TURN  
>  **Leorio** : Could you not have said that out loud??  
>  **Kurapika** : That’s exactly what Killua said. Now the game has commenced again. Should I give you a play by play, or let you return to work?  
>  **Leorio** : Honestly if those are my only two options I’ll just find somethin to do  
>  **Kurapika** : Wise decision. Have fun.  
>  **Leorio** : Fuck off  
>  **Killua** : what did i just say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha this fic will probably be longer than planned bc I keep writing dumb scenes. I have one written that I originally thought would be in chapter two but now it will either be the end of the next one or the beginning of the one after that.
> 
> I work at a coffee shop. Catch me talking about it fucking CONSTANTLY and even dragging it into my fic to relax and wind down from the biggest source of stress in my life - my job at a coffee shop. At least I get free cold brew.
> 
> Thank you all for reading until now, and for the kudos and comments!


	4. Chapter 4

> _ Group message: Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, Gon, Alluka _
> 
> **Gon** : I ACED THAT LIT PROJECT ON D HUNTER   
>  **Kurapika** : Told you.   
>  **Leorio** : Congrats kiddo!!   
>  **Alluka** : I am literally four feet away but good job   
>  **Gon** : :)   
>  **Gon** : omg alluka i thought this was the other chat   
>  **Killua** : good job gon, proud of u   
>  **Killua** : i’ll get you that weird chili candy to celebrate   
>  **Killua** : where do you get it again??   
>  **Gon** : by the port w the other foreign foods <3   
>  **Leorio** : Holy shit i love those chili lollipops!!!!   
>  **Alluka** : can you get me some of those lil cinnamon coffee cakes too   
>  **Killua** : how dare you assume i didn’t already buy them   
>  **Leorio** : Wow I wish I had someone to buy me chili lollipops and coffee cakes   
>  **Leorio** : Maybe someone who is currently staying at my apartment rent free   
>  **Leorio** : Who I am about to help transport some body parts   
>  **Leorio** : A thing that I have to leave school for a week to do   
>  **Kurapika** : Damn, that’s crazy, good luck finding that person though   
>  **Leorio** : :(   
>  **Kurapika** : Do not.   
>  **Gon** : its ok leorio i will share my lollipops with you   
>  **Leorio** : No that is your reward you deserve those   
>  **Alluka** : well i guess nobody else will give you treats :(   
>  **Leorio** : ALLUKA YOURE SO MEANGKFGJKE   
>  **Killua** : he didn’t even ASK YOU   
>  **Killua** : and i didn’t even respond either   
>  **Leorio** : So killua will you buy me some chili lollipops????   
>  **Killua** : no lol   
>  **Leorio** : :(   
>  **Kurapika** : God dammit.   
>  **Kurapika** : If you let me drive your car I will bring you some gross spicy candy.   
>  **Leorio** : :) !   
>  **Leorio** : Take a left out of the complex, the gas station at the second light has them <3   
>  **Gon** : you mean i could have stocked up before i came home????????   
>  **Killua** : i am literally about to give you some in like forty seconds   
>  **Alluka** : i love you all but i am seriously fifth wheeling in this chat most of the time   
>  **Killua** : STOPFJGKFDJG   
>  **Leorio** : HOLY SHIT????   
>  **Kurapika** : Oh my god   
>  **Gon** : i mean i just read some of that again and shes kinda right   
>  **Leorio** : DONT TAKE HER SIDE   
>  **Gon** : THE SIDES ARE RIGHT AND WRONG LEORIO   
>  **Alluka** : you see!!   
>  **Alluka** : now i am not saying dont text me, i simply want to raise your awareness   
>  **Kurapika** : We’re already aware, thank you   
>  **Killua** : we are TOO aware actually   
>  **Gon** : kurapika did you just…   
>  **Kurapika** : No   
>  **Leorio** : Hell truly is other people, specifically you four   
>  **Kurapika** : That’s not what “hell is other people” means   
>  **Kurapika** : That quote is commonly misunderstood   
>  **Killua** : hell is kurapika gearing up for a philosophy lecture   
>  **Kurapika** : Excuse me!!   
>  **Alluka** : hell is me not having cake pls hurry big bro :(   
>  **Gon** : hell is trigonometry   
>  **Kurapika** : Hell is getting pulled over for running a yellow light when you’re texting and driving   
>  **Leorio** : KURAPIKA   
>  **Gon** : DKFJGDFKKF   
>  **Leorio** : THAT IS MY CAR   
>  **Alluka** : YOU ARE SUCH A BAD ROLE MODEL   
>  **Leorio** : I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU   
>  **Killua** : gon i’m almost home   
>  **Killua** : lol rip kurapika   
>  **Kurapika** : It’s okay I handled it. Leorio I will be there in about fifteen minutes   
>  **Leorio** : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN   
>  **Kurapika** : :)   
>  **Leorio** : THAT IS SO OMINOUS WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS   
>  **Leorio** : ALSO STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING   
>  **Gon** : stop responding and he will stop texting u!!! also he probly just showed license n said “hunter business” n the cop said “ok have fun”   
>  **Kurapika** : ^^^   
>  **Leorio** : I dont mind gon being right but I hate when kurapika agrees with him   
>  **Kurapika** : And what exactly do you mean by that?   
>  **Gon** : just that he cant keep the upper hand in ur arguments when i take ur side   
>  **Gon** : tbf u are the same way   
>  **Gon** : i have power   
>  **Gon** : anyway killua is back so were gonna snack and then i gotta work on trig!!   
>  **Kurapika** : Okay, good luck with that   
>  **Leorio** : Okay kids!! Kurapika I will be waiting at the fountain outside the student center to collect my candy and yell at u since I dont have a parking permit   
>  **Kurapika** : Brace yourself, then   
>    
>    
>    
>  **Leorio** : YOU ASSHOLE   
>  **Kurapika** : You should be THANKING me   
>  **Killua** : what did he do???   
>  **Leorio** : HE THREW THE BAG AT MY HEAD AND DROVE OFF HE LITERALLY DID NOT EVEN STOP THE CAR   
>  **Kurapika** : You don’t have a parking permit, so I didn’t park   
>  **Kurapika** : That’s what you get for being cheap   
>  **Alluka** : LMAO   
>  **Gon** : wow great aim kurapika!!   
>  **Kurapika** : Thank you, Gon   
>  **Kurapika** : You’re the only motherfucker in this city who can handle me   
>  **Leorio** : HALF THE SUCKERS ARE ALL CRACKED NOW   
>  **Leorio** : AND TAKING PUBLIC TRANSPORT IS SENSIBLE   
>  **Leorio** : IT IS COST EFFECTIVE AND ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY AND ALSO I HATE DRIVING HOME AFTER A DAY OF LECTURES AND HOSPITAL SHIFTS   
>  **Killua** : i feel like i should be surprised but i’m really not

* * *

Kurapika didn’t even look up from his book as he heard the front door open. “Welcome home,” he said as he sipped on his coffee.

Leorio kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie with a sigh. “How much coffee have you had today?”

“This is only my second cup this afternoon. There’s more if you would like some.” Kurapika gestured towards the French press sitting on the end table next to him.

“As much as I appreciate the offer, I think I would like to sleep tonight.” Leorio shed his suit jacket and threw it on the back of the armchair, muttering about how he didn’t even know he owned a French press and something about sleep deprived morons. Kurapika stopped listening. His book was getting good.

He expected the other man to head straight for the kitchen as usual. Instead he pulled something out of his pocket and collapsed on the other end of the sofa. That was enough to get Kurapika to look over at him curiously. Leorio was holding a pack of his nicotine gum, popping one out of the package and into his mouth. Noticing the staring, he held out the package. “Want one? I’m sure quitting cold turkey isn’t easy.”

“No, thank you. I’m covered.” Kurapika lifted his sleeve to show the nicotine patch on his arm. The way it made Leorio smile made him feel better about having to use it. He hid his own smile behind his book.

That didn’t last long, however. “Hey, I had something I wanted to ask you. It’s okay if you don’t have an answer yet.”

The serious tone finally made Kurapika set his book down, but he couldn’t bring himself to make full eye contact. “I’m listening,” he said cautiously. He picked up his coffee mug and gripped it tightly to keep himself from fidgeting.

If Leorio noticed his sudden nervousness, he didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s just… after we finish burying the eyes. What do you plan on doing then?”

Kurapika relaxed a little. So, he still wasn’t bringing it up yet. He met Leorio’s eyes. “Honestly, I don’t know. I suppose I’ve had enough of a vacation, so I should start looking for a new job.”

“Do you have any idea what you want to do?”

He paused for a moment to think about it, truly. Now that what he had to do was done… What did he want to do? “No. I just know some things I don’t want to do. I won’t go back to the mafia. I don’t want to work in the underworld anymore. I’m good at bodyguarding, but how satisfying it is depends on the client, and I wouldn’t want to do it permanently.” Kurapika drank more of his coffee. It was starting to get cold. That was one thing he didn’t like about hot coffee - it was only good if it stayed hot. Maybe once he finished his pot he should start some cold brew.

The man next to him unfortunately continued the conversation, demanding his attention again. “Well, at least that’s a start. But I was thinking, if you don’t know what you’re doing or where you’re going next, you could stay here a little longer if you want. If you don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Leorio was looking away, now. Reading between the lines, Kurapika looked down into his mostly empty mug. He did want to stay. That was the problem. But Leorio had a point - he didn’t have anywhere else to go. “That’s kind of you. Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, you emotionally dense asshat. You’re welcome as long as you want to stay. Staying here would give you less to worry about until you figure out your next move.” Leorio made eye contact again, fake irritation all over his face.

Instead of raising his own emotional barriers even higher, Kurapika decided to let them down. He smiled gratefully. “Thank you.” His voice sounded smaller than he wanted it to.

The honesty seemed to disarm Leorio. “Anytime,” he said, also much quieter than usual. They stared at each other for a beat. Leorio’s gaze wandered below eye level, but he stood and broke the moment a second before Kurapika registered it. “I need a shower, then I’m gonna order takeout. Today kicked my ass so I am not cooking.”

“I could at least make instant ramen,” Kurapika said, but he was already picking up his book again.

“Like hell. Are there vegetables in instant ramen? Ones that haven’t been dehydrated and covered in salt?”

“Mushrooms on a pizza don’t count as a serving of vegetables,” Kurapika said.

Leorio shouted from down the hall, “We’re not getting fucking pizza, either! I had enough of that when I had three teenagers in my house!” He slammed the bathroom door closed before Kurapika could add anything else.

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Kurapika poured himself more lukewarm coffee.

* * *

> _ Message: to Gon _
> 
> **Kurapika** : Are you free? I need some insight, Senritsu is busy and you’re the second least likely to give me shit about it.   
>  **Gon** : oooh is this about leorio??   
>  **Kurapika** : What makes you think that?   
>  **Gon** : well youre usually more comfortable talkin to him and also im slightly more likely to give u shit. i promise i wont this time tho   
>  **Kurapika** : Okay, that’s fair.   
>  **Gon** : tell him how u feel, just be honest youll be better off even if it doesnt turn out how you want it to. but honestly it will bc he loves u   
>  **Kurapika** : Yeah, I know he does.   
>  **Gon** : wait what????   
>  **Kurapika** : Gon, if you don’t mind sharing, how did you and Killua get together? How did you fix your relationship after you separated?   
>  **Gon** : hmm idk how to explain really, but ill try   
>  **Gon** : so the reason we separated in the first place was bc we knew we needed it, we didnt know why but we knew we needed to think about things alone   
>  **Gon** : there was a lot, like we became too dependent on each other and stuff, but i dont think that really applies to u n leorio lol   
>  **Gon** : but one of the things was we didnt say things that needed to be said bc we thought we understood each other well enough so we promised to start saying the things we wouldnt have normally   
>  **Gon** : so one day i told him i loved him and he was surprised, then i was surprised bc i thought it was obvious???   
>  **Gon** : and yeah that was our biggest roadblock, we still have to be careful that were not getting dependent again and then theres other uh more personal things but its not as hard as it was before we were together   
>  **Kurapika** : Wow. I had no idea   
>  **Kurapika** : I guess I always thought things simply fell into place for you two   
>  **Gon** : nope!! but im happy w him even though its not easy. i dont think there could be anyone else for me   
>  **Kurapika** : And that’s enough to conquer whatever issues come up?   
>  **Gon** : no but it makes the work worth it   
>  **Kurapika** : I see   
>  **Gon** : so did any of that help??   
>  **Kurapika** : Yes, I think it did.   
>  **Kurapika** : I think I owe you some honesty.   
>  **Kurapika** : When we were on the Black Whale, Leorio told me he loves me. He said he knew we couldn’t be a couple as long as I was looking for the eyes and hunting the troupe, and he didn’t want me to give that up, and he was fine with that as long as I didn’t disappear again.   
>  **Gon** : wow. what did you say???   
>  **Kurapika** : At the time I was confused and emotional. I got choked up. All I could get out was a promise to work on communicating before he left. He was right, it would have been a bad time to get together. I still don’t think now is a great time, but it would be better.   
>  **Gon** : hm i think thats for you guys to figure out   
>  **Gon** : i know you have to bring the eyes back and figure out some other things first but putting this off too long would also be bad   
>  **Kurapika** : Yeah, I know.   
>  **Kurapika** : I have a lot to think about now. Thank you for your help   
>  **Gon** : anytime!!!

* * *

Kurapika expected that traveling with five people would take much longer than it did. He didn’t realize just how used to it everyone was. Alluka was even able to ride the ostrich horses for as long as Leorio, and she didn’t complain like he did either.

Although it was good to have the whole group back together, Kurapika couldn’t focus on that feeling. His mind was split between two issues - his relationship with Leorio, and what they would find when they reached the village. Naturally, the latter was becoming the bigger focus the closer they got. As they crossed into the Lukso Province, then reached the village where the Kurta clan traded, then trekked deeper into the forest, nostalgia and guilt filled Kurapika. Though his mind wandered less frequently, the guilt he felt each time was more intense. After all, he really should not be thinking about trivial things.

His friends were a little less boisterous than usual too, but that honestly wasn’t saying much. Gon seemed especially intrigued by the wildlife and kept asking questions about it. Alluka asked follow up questions as well, aiming to understand the conversation. Killua and Leorio were trailing behind enough that Kurapika couldn’t easily hear them, but the occasional shouted threat or insult signaled that it was mostly their usual banter.

The forest grew thicker the closer they got to the village. His memories of this place grew stronger. They found the river where he and Pairo liked to swim and fish. They crossed a small clearing where he would camp on clear summer nights. Despite the years he spent away, the forest still looked almost exactly the same. Kurapika led the way through the foliage almost as though he had never left it.

A small gap in the trees marked the entrance to the village. Gon couldn’t contain his gasp as they passed through and suddenly found themselves among a cluster of old buildings. Everyone else fell silent as they took in the scene before them.

Kurapika expected it to be more overgrown than it was. It wasn’t quite pristine, but the vines had not yet crawled over the walls of the buildings. He didn’t see cracked windows or broken doors. He didn’t even see the blood stains he remembered.

It was when he saw boarded up windows that he paused. At twelve, he was in a haze of grief and rage. It was possible he didn’t remember doing that - but he’s certain he wouldn’t have thought to in the first place. “Someone else has been here,” Kurapika announced.

The rise in tension was immediate. Leorio closed his eyes, and Kurapika felt his En wash over him. Everyone waited and watched as they felt the change in the air. Leorio opened his eyes and shifted his gaze to the northeast. “They’re still here,” he said. “I can only sense one. They’re not moving.”

Confusion, anxiety, grief, dread, and anger all combined to create a new fucked up cocktail of emotion in Kurapika. The edges of his vision went red. “That’s the graveyard.” That was the only explanation he gave before he raced ahead on his ostrich horse.

He still knew the village just as well as the surrounding forest. It didn’t even look that much different, just dirtier and emptier. Kurapika noted the details, but couldn’t begin to think of what they meant. He had to know who was here, and why, and how.

The buildings and trees gave way to another clearing. One hundred and twenty-seven flat stones lay on the ground in neat rows. Each had writing in the swirling Kurta script. Kurapika himself had carved the names of each clan member into the stones, as carefully and deeply as he was able to. But he expected to find some of them faded. Instead, they looked clean. They looked like they had been taken care of.

When Kurapika finally saw the figure Leorio had sensed, he began to put the pieces together. A petite woman wearing a peculiar headband shaped like mouse ears was kneeling in the middle of the field. She turned to look at him as she heard his approach, revealing a cloth in one hand and a spray bottle in the other.

They wore twin expressions of surprise as they stared at each other. Kurapika finally dismounted his steed and approached. He heard his friends arrive behind him, but did not turn around. The woman stood and watched him. She kept blinking as they made eye contact.

“Sheila?”

The woman blinked a few more times. “Curarpikt… you’re alive?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kind of a short chapter, but I would have to either end it in an awkward spot or put off this update. Work is about to start kicking my ass, so future chapters may start coming a little less often. I apologize in advance, but I hope it'll be worth it when I do get to post them! I also have another mini chatfic I'm working on alongside this one. It's in the same verse but at a different time, so I'll post it when it won't get confusing with the timelines~
> 
> Also, that scene I mentioned that I wrote a long time ago? That's probably the end of chapter five now. I'm so bad at gauging the length of my fics, apparently.
> 
> Oh, and the chili candy they're talking about in the beginning of this are these like, Mexican chili suckers. My high school Spanish teacher used to give them to us lol. They're weird if you've never had them before, but actually pretty delicious.
> 
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr or twitter - I'm kurapizzas on both! I actually use mobile twitter so I'm easier to contact there, but I've been reblogging more hxh stuff on tumblr lately.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurapika looked at the tools in Sheila’s hands and the stone at her feet. Half of it looked just as clean as the day it was carved, making the other half look absolutely filthy in comparison. That was when everything started to make sense.

The others caught up to him, but stood behind and said nothing. He appreciated their silence as he tried to process this development. For once they respected the gravity of the situation. They had probably put the pieces together as well. Kurapika was the one who said it out loud. “You’ve been preserving these graves, and the village?”

That cut through Sheila’s shock. She seemed embarrassed now, trying to make herself smaller. When she spoke, her voice was small too. “Well, yes, but I haven’t been able to do much with the village. I don’t have the resources to do as much as I wanted to.”

“As much as you wanted to?” Kurapika felt stupid just repeating her, but there was one thing he still didn’t understand and that was why she had been doing this.

Sheila nodded. “I was devastated when I heard the news. I didn’t even hear it until months later, which made it worse. So, I felt the need to come here. This place is very well hidden, by the way. It’s no wonder it took a bunch of skilled Nen users to find it.”

She knew about Nen? Did that mean she reached her goal of becoming a hunter? It was just like her to accidentally let that kind of secret slip, too. Kurapika wanted to congratulate her, but there were at least four more important issues at hand. He made a mental note to circle back to that after his freakout over the fact that Sheila was alive and in front of him and he hadn’t heard his name pronounced like that in a decade.

Gon finally spoke up, apparently unable to watch any longer. “How did you find it, then? I don’t even think I could’ve found it on my own.”

Once again, Sheila blinked. “Well, it was pretty easy once I found the place where I first met Curarpikt. I knew it was only about a fifteen minute hike from here, so I simply needed to search in a radius from that point. It still took almost a full day though.”

“You’ve met before, but you didn’t know where the village was?” Killua probably didn’t mean for his tone to come out so suspicious, but that seemed to be his default when interacting with unknown hunters.

“Ah… yes, I got lost in this forest a long time ago,” Sheila said. Her embarrassment was back, but she seemed to be trying to hide it. She was doing a terrible job. “Curarpikt and Pairo found me when I broke my leg and collapsed from dehydration. They saved my life. However, I was an outsider, so they couldn’t bring me here.”

Alluka wrinkled her forehead. “You keep calling him Kurarupikuto.”

The butchered pronunciation made Kurapika laugh out of surprise. The observation threw him off guard - though he supposed it made sense they would be confused. “Curarpikt is technically the correct pronunciation of my name,” he explained. “But it’s difficult for most speakers of the international language to learn. That’s why I started going by Kurapika. It’s the most accurate simplification of my name, I think.”

Everyone fell silent at that. The kids looked like they were thinking hard - Gon was muttering under his breath. (Kurapika heard him say “Kurapit” at one point. He would probably ask if he was saying it correctly later.) Leorio, who Kurapika now noticed had not spoken this entire time, was still watching Sheila, who was still looking uncomfortable.

Kurapika decided to break the silence. “So, you came to pay your respects? Is that why you’ve kept coming back?”

“Yes, that’s part of it,” Sheila admitted. “But I also couldn’t stand the idea of this place decaying. It’s the last remains of an entire culture. I didn’t know there were any survivors, so… I thought, if not me then who?”

If Kurapika was guilty before, now he was completely ashamed. Not once had he thought of trying to do what Sheila had done. He looked down at the ground, at the newly cleaned stones and at the dirty ones. He was glad he didn’t have to see how much they would have faded in ten years. “Thank you,” were the only words he could get out. Now it was his own voice that sounded small.

Sheila seemed to understand. She smiled brightly at him, just as cheerfully as she did in his memories. “Well, it seems we have a lot to catch up on, don’t we? Oh, and introductions as well!”

* * *

Kurapika placed thirty-six round stones in the ground in a neat grid, far enough away from the rest of the graves to make it clear that these were separate. The stones were blank, nothing more than markers. He intended to keep them that way.

The four boys and Alluka got to work digging as Sheila continued her work cleaning the older gravestones. As Leorio had said (it felt like ages ago, now - had it really been less than two weeks?) - the work went a lot faster with five people. Six, when Sheila was finished and came to lend a hand.

Normal Kurta graves were dug five feet deep. That felt like overkill for this, so these were only three feet. Kurapika figured that trying to perform a perfect ritual burial would be impossible. For one, the eyes were already separate from the rest of the body, and he had no way to identify them. Also, trying to lower a pair of eyeballs into a five foot hole without dropping them would be immensely difficult- and dropping them would be a terrible insult.

Kurapika insisted on carrying out this ritual alone. He would allow the others to witness, and to pay their respects in whatever way they saw fit so long as they did not interrupt. When he was finished, he would need their help to fill the holes again. Then they would be free the rest of the day - usually, the rest of the clan would bring food for the immediate family members of the deceased and let them rest before the next day’s memorial.

The burial itself was relatively simple. Kurapika opened the first jar to retrieve the eyeballs from the jelly that preserved them. It felt like hand sanitizer, he thought distantly as he gently laid the eyes on a white cloth.

He began to say a prayer as he wrapped the eyes - a modified version of the traditional funeral prayer in his mother tongue.  _ “From earth, god creates our bodies to give the soul the gift of life. As life comes to an end, the body must return to the earth. The body will decay, but the soul will move on. We shall not fear death, but give thanks for the gift of life and return the body to the earth. Now the blessed scarlet eyes have been returned. Now let the soul be released from limbo and finally reach the heavens.” _

As Kurapika gently lowered the eyes into their grave and sprinkled a handful of dirt on top, he listened to the strange words coming out of his own mouth and was pleased to hear his pronunciation was still perfect.

* * *

The group was silent as they buried the eyes. The mood was pensive and respectful, not awkward. It wasn’t until they finished their work and returned to their supplies that it started getting uncomfortable. Kurapika excused himself to take a walk as soon as he felt it coming on.

His feet took him back to the village, to the dirty old buildings that should have looked dirtier and older. He reached up to feel his earring - he registered the edges of the gemstone, the chain that was warmed with his body heat, the carvings in the clasp. The fact that he even thought to ground himself was a good sign, but he didn’t feel any different. The slight shock and numbness he felt must have been just… normal emotions.

That was a little disappointing. He was expecting either an intense sadness or an intense relief. The mix of several different things was just strange.

As if on cue, Kurapika’s phone buzzed. He vaguely wondered how any messages were getting through, but decided not to question it too much as he checked the notification.

> _ Message: from Senritsu _
> 
> **Senritsu** : Text me when you can. I hope all is going well!   
>  **Kurapika** : Somehow I do have service here. Is everything okay?   
>  **Senritsu** : That’s a pleasant surprise. I’m well, I was more concerned about you   
>  **Kurapika** : I’m about as well as could be expected   
>  **Senritsu** : You know damn well I won’t accept that kind of vague non-answer   
>  **Kurapika** : I know, but it was worth trying   
>  **Kurapika** : I ran into someone I knew when I was a kid. Someone important to me. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you another time.   
>  **Senritsu** : I’ll hold you to that. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?   
>  **Kurapika** : Good, just surprising. And it’s making it harder to grieve.   
>  **Senritsu** : Maybe you’ve spent enough time grieving.   
>  **Senritsu** : I’m sorry, that sounds insensitive, let me explain what I mean.   
>  **Senritsu** : You’ve been suffering for a long time. You deserve good things, especially now that you’ve done what you set out to do. I think you should let yourself off the hook.   
>  **Kurapika** : Logically speaking, I know you’re right as always. But that’s easier said than done.   
>  **Senritsu** : I remember a time when you wouldn’t have even admitted I was right. You’re a lot more emotionally mature than you used to be. I think you’ll figure it out.   
>  **Kurapika** : I suppose.   
>  **Senritsu** : Go catch up with this mystery important person. Talking to them will serve you more than talking to me right now.   
>  **Kurapika** : Okay. I’ll text you later.

With a sigh, Kurapika pocketed his phone again and went back the way he came. He had thought he wanted to be alone, but now that Senritsu had ended the conversation he really wanted to talk to someone. He had been alone for too long now. Sometimes it was kind of scary how she was always right.

Somewhere between the village and the graveyard, within sight but still a respectful distance away from both, Kurapika noticed a tent that he had not seen before. He realized it must be Sheila’s when he saw everyone sitting in a circle in front of it.

As he headed for them, he began to hear bits and pieces of their conversation. They hadn’t noticed him yet. Kurapika approached stealthily as he listened in.

“They were such cute kids, I wish you could have seen them. Curarpikt was always doting on Pairo,” Sheila was saying as she sipped from a canteen. “They were intelligent too, both of them. Curarpikt was able to hold a conversation in the international language before my broken leg was healed.”

“Sure sounds like him,” Killua said. He sounded incredibly fond, which was more surprising than it should have been.

Leorio hummed in agreement. “Bet he was all smug about it, too.”

Sheila laughed a little. “Kind of, I guess, but he had the knowledge to back it up. He was headstrong, though. Every day he wanted to practice for hours. He kept saying he had to show that stupid elder.”

“Yeah, that does sound like him,” Leorio said fondly.

Alluka leaned forward. “Did he ever explain what he meant by that?”

“So, the village elders were super strict about people coming and going, that’s why I had to take shelter under a tree. I guess Curarpikt was mad because they wouldn’t let him leave.” Sheila twirled a strand of hair around her finger. “If I recall his exact words, he called them ‘backwards ignoramuses’ and said they had no idea what the world was really like, and also he could beat them in a fight.”

Sensing an opportunity, Kurapika finally spoke. “I did say that, didn’t I? I had completely forgotten.” He tried not to look too pleased with himself as he took a seat on the ground between Sheila and Gon.

Sheila at least had the grace to smile apologetically as the others snickered. “Well, you were pretty worked up at the time,” she said.

“I was right though,” Kurapika countered. “They weren’t half as good at the language as I was when they finally let me take the test, they didn’t know anything about current events or politics or culture or philosophy or mathematics or science, and I would have absolutely beat them in a fight.”

Gon took the opportunity to ask about the test, a detail that seemed to confuse Sheila as well. Kurapika smiled as he explained the rules and structure of their society, and told his story about confronting the elder and finally taking the test.

As he spoke, he realized he had never told anyone the story before.

* * *

After setting up two more tents, the group spent the rest of the afternoon exchanging stories about Kurapika’s time with Sheila and his time in the hunter exam. Over dinner, they caught up to the present. Sheila bonded with Gon over their interests in biology and nature, cooed over Killua and Alluka, and praised Leorio’s emitter techniques. They passed a surprising amount of time just… talking.

Still, there was never any real chance of Kurapika getting a full night’s rest. If Gon and Killua whispering late into the night didn’t keep him awake, his thoughts would have. Midnight found him sitting in the graveyard as the others either slept or pretended to.

He had, perhaps selfishly, buried those closest to him close to each other. He faced the village, his parents on his left and Pairo on his right. He visualized them sitting there with him with content smiles on their faces. Kurapika felt tears coming to his eyes before he could try to control them.

_ “I miss you so much,” _ he said out loud, in the Kurta language. It felt strange to hear this time, even though he still spoke perfectly. His voice had just changed so much.

Those first words had opened the floodgates, and Kurapika couldn’t help talking more.  _ “So much happened in the time I was gone. I learned a lot, and I did a lot. Some of it you would be sickened to hear me say, but not all of it was bad either. _

_ Dad, you would have enjoyed the annual auction at Yorknew, I bet. They always have some interesting and rare things for sale. Lots of fine art and historical artifacts. Mom, you might have been bored out of your mind, but there’s so much else going on in the city. All kinds of interesting shops and foods and people. Not all of them were trustworthy though. You would be an easy target for a pickpocket if you weren’t warned. Not that you wouldn’t give them hell, of course.” _

He fell silent again, thinking about the last nine years, of the things he wished he could tell them.  _ “At first it was lonely. I didn’t make any friends for a long time. Eventually I did, though. Without them, who knows where I would be? I may not even have my Hunter’s license. _

_ But guess what, Pairo? One of them is a doctor.” _ Kurapika smiled - a little sadly, but it was a smile nonetheless.  _ “The irony of that never escaped me, you know. But he’s one of the most important people in my life now. Sometimes he’s infuriating, but it would get boring if he wasn’t. And his skill is only outmatched by his kindness. If anyone could have healed you, Pairo, it would be him.” _

The sound of footsteps interrupted him - too loud to be Killua, too quiet to be Gon, too heavy to be Alluka or Nanika, and much too familiar to be Sheila. He didn’t bother to hide his expression.  _ “Speak of him, and he will come.” _

Leorio stopped next to him and cleared his throat. “May I sit?” he asked, almost whispering. Kurapika nodded and waited for him to get comfortable- or at least as comfortable as he could get in a place like this.

Kurapika realized Leorio must have heard him a moment ago and started to blush. Even remembering that he was speaking an essentially dead language, it was awkward being caught so vulnerable. “I was just talking to my parents and Pairo,” he said, figuring Leorio was about to ask.

The other man nodded. Instead of asking why, or questioning Kurapika’s beliefs or the existence of ghosts or anything like that, he simply asked, “Which one is which?”

After Kurapika pointed them out Leorio nodded. Another moment passed before he asked, “What were you talking about?”

“I was telling them about the friends I’ve made,” he answered. Well, it was basically true, right? He just hadn’t gotten to the others yet.

Leorio smiled warmly at him. “I see. Well, don’t let me interrupt.”

Kurapika tilted his head as he held eye contact. “You already have.”

“Don’t be a prick, you know what I mean.”

With a fake sigh, Kurapika turned to Pairo. _ “You see what I have to deal with? And he hasn’t even gotten started yet.” _

“Hey, if you’re talking shit, have the decency to do it in a language I actually speak.”

“I thought you weren’t going to interrupt.” Kurapika kept his voice as cool as possible, but he was far from mad.

The amusement in his eyes must have been more than just a hint, because Leorio didn’t rise to the bait. Instead he spluttered for a moment and mumbled his reply. “I just don’t wanna be left out, that’s all.”

Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Kurapika could have sworn that he was implying something else. The thought made him feel hot again - he had to turn away to hide it. He stopped himself from saying ‘I would love for you to meet my family,’ and instead went with “Then why don’t you tell the story of how we first met?”

Leorio let out a snort. “You mean when you were so far up on your high horse you wanted to have a duel with me on the deck of a ship in the middle of a storm that might have tossed us overboard?”

“That’s an interesting way to spin you threatening to kill me because I didn’t address you with an honorific,” Kurapika spat back. Finally, he was genuinely annoyed, but only a little.

The bickering continued like that until they both got bored again, and then lapsed into talking about Gon and Killua and Senritsu. Even Woble was brought up. (“If anything had happened to her, I would have killed everyone on that boat and then myself.” “That isn’t funny.” “It wasn’t a joke.” “God, Pairo was he always like this?” “Yes, I beat three grown men half to death when they insulted Pairo.” “You know what, I regret asking.”)

At least an hour had passed before they ran out of stories. There was a lull in the conversation that lasted long enough for Kurapika to actually feel tired. He yawned, which prompted Leorio to ask, “So, should we head back now?”

Realizing he did actually feel like some kind of pressure had been taken off, Kurapika nodded. “Yes, I think I’m ready for bed.”

The two men finally stood and brushed the dirt off their outfits. Leorio bowed his head and closed his eyes for just a moment before turning to head back to his bed. Kurapika lingered a little longer, also bowing his head, but only so Leorio wouldn’t be able to hear him.

_ “I really do love this man. I think you would have, too.” _ He looked up and saw Leorio watching him. Kurapika whispered a farewell to his parents and dear friend before catching up with Leorio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy September 1st, y'all ~~
> 
> So this is another text heavy chapter, oof. I am learning that more serious plot moments and all the relevant characters being together doesn't lend itself to a chatfic. But again, from this point it's pretty much up from here. Senritsu in this chapter is basically a self insert yelling positive things at my fave oop.
> 
> As of right now, I still have no idea how long this fic will be. I do know that the smaller fic I mentioned last time will go up when the next chapter does. I hope you all enjoy it when it goes up! And of course, the main story as well lol. I'm.... particularly excited for one specific character to show up next chapter ;)


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